Understanding and Application

Scripture Texts: John 7:25-53; Psalms 30

Facts and details can be fascinating and troublesome things. There is a chance we might have all the right facts and details and apply them incorrectly. It is also possible to have the right application without having the facts and details together. In either case the results are misinformation and misguided actions.

The people questioning Jesus in John's Gospel have their facts and details right about where the Messiah would come from. Their application was the problem, they did not realize, or remember, Jesus was born in Bethlehem, this city of David. If correctly applied to Jesus, the people would have found the facts and details to point to Jesus as Messiah.

On the other side of this is when the religious leaders try to keep the people connected with God. The law given by God was to guide the people in having a relationship with God. Religious leaders kept adding to the law so that people would not even come close to breaking God's law. Their application was good, keeping people from sin. Their facts and details on how to do keep from sin and in full relationship with God were incorrect. Therefore their good application was in the wrong direction.

Any relationship is susceptible to this challenge of application, and facts and details. Marriage is certainly not an exception. We can know all of the right things which cultivate a healthy and full marriage, if we do not apply them well then we still miss out. Likewise, if we are making every effort to cultivate a healthy and full marriage, but do not have the facts and details together, we will miss out.

Over the past few months we have explored some of the practices, habits and understandings of a healthy marriage. Perhaps along the way you have, like we have, learned a few facts and details about cultivating a marriage. This is only part of the challenge. The full challenge is in the application. Are we putting into practice the things we have learned? Understanding and application must go hand in hand if we are to cultivate a healthy and full marriage.

Sacrificing the Perishable for the Sake of the Eternal

Scripture Text: John 6:22-59

We have an amazing tendency to sacrifice the eternal for the sake of the perishable. The focus of our lives becomes getting the things we desire in with little regard for what God desires for us. In this process we get more focused on fulfilling our wants and desires that we leave behind that which is best.

This time in history is not the first to fall prey to this challenge. For as long as there have been people, people have been people. The Scriptures are filled with people who sacrificed the eternal for the sake of the perishable. When in reality a life that follows after God is one that is willing to sacrifice the perishable for the sake of the eternal.

In the Gospel of John this is shown by the way the crowd is looking for Jesus to do parlor tricks before they will believe. They wanted their desires to be satisfied before they would believe. Jesus challenges them to believe seek something better, something lasting.

In marriage it becomes easy to sacrifice the fullness of marriage for the desires and wants of the current moment. We want to experience all that marriage has to offer without having to sacrifice any of our desires. This simply will not work. If we are to experience all that marriage has to offer we must be willing to sacrifice the perishable desires for the sake of the eternal.

Some of the struggles we went through early in our marriage often had easy solutions to them. These easy solutions more often than not would have invited us to sacrifice the eternal for the perishable. There would have been jobs taken that were really not what God hoped for us. Purchases made that would have placed us in bondage to something other than Christ. In fact early in our marriage as we began to welcome children into the world we purchased a big SUV to cart our family around. This met a very real desire and a need. The issue was we sacrificed some availability to God because of the unrealistic car payment we found ourselves bound to. For several years after sacrificing the eternal for the perishable, we paid a financial price for the vehicle long after it was gone from our family.

Dancing on The Waves of a Storm

Scripture Texts: John 6:1-21; Psalms 28

Jesus had a knack for asking the impossible of his followers. Feed thousands without planning ahead and only a child's lunch as provision.  Then to have them experience him walking on water in the midst of the storm. It could be argued Jesus is just showing off with that. Still, we find Jesus repeatedly inviting followers to stretch beyond their understanding of what is possible.

As humans we are a people that by and large tend to stay with the safe and the known. When we come across someone who is willing to take risks, or stretch our sense of what is possible we often dismiss them as having a loose grip on reality. However, following Jesus is a continual life of moving beyond perceived limitations and expanding our experience of possible.

When we stop and think about it marriage is close to an impossible thing. Two people who commit to live their lives together until death do they part. In our case we intend on having this be many decades of life together, which means we need Jesus to lead us into the waters of what is humanly impossible.

On the wedding day couples are not equipped for the journey ahead, they do not have all the provisions for the life that God is calling them to live in Jesus Christ. Yet, if allowed to, Jesus will supply what we need when we need it, even if it starts with a child's lunch. When the storms of life come, Jesus loves to show off a little and dance on top of waves just to make sure we see that what we think is impossible is joy for Jesus.

The key on this is placing our trust in Jesus more than what is known and what we think to be possible. If all we live by is what is thought to be possible, we will never dance on the waves of a storm with Jesus. If our marriage is limited to what is possible for two human beings to accomplish the limits will abound. We must keep our hearts, minds and possibilities for our marriage focused on the provision of possibilities of Jesus.

The Difference Jesus Makes

Scripture Text: John 5:19-47

Does belief in Jesus really matter? That is the crux of the conversation Jesus is having in this section from John. People all over the world live productive lives, filled with compassion and love, yet Jesus is not part of the equation for them. So, what difference does it make?

Belief in Jesus does not automatically make everything better in our lives, in fact there are times when it makes it harder. The promise of God is not that we will live a better life than another person who does not believe in Jesus, much less follow Jesus. No, the promise is that we will have a fullness of life that is only possible through Jesus.

This fullness comes from having a fullness of relationship with God that can only be found through Jesus. A life that experiences love and compassion without Jesus will come to know love and compassion more fully because of their relationship with Jesus. In other words, when we do not believe and follow Jesus, we are settling for less than everything God desires for us.

The same is true of marriage. There are many successful marriages throughout the world that do not have Jesus as a part of the marriage. Great love and fulfilment is found in these marriages, and for all intents and purposes these marriages are of high quality. Only they are not experiencing the fullness of what God desires for marriage.

There are many who call themselves Christians who continue to leave Jesus out of their marriage. This is easy to do because we have not seen Jesus, nor have we seen God and we live in a seeing is believing culture. Yet, the key to experiencing everything God desires in marriage still comes back to Jesus.

To experience all that God desires in marriage requires two people who are followers of Jesus. Further it requires the couple to invite Jesus into the marriage in tangible ways. This is done by loving our spouse and other people like Jesus loves all of us. It is also done by walking in compassion and mercy with our spouse in the same ways Jesus does with all of us. Anything less can still be productive and good, however, it will not be all that God desires for you and your marriage.

A Few Words Change Everything

Scripture Text: John 4:31-54

All it took was a few words. Jesus never even saw the young boy who was dying. Still he spoke words of healing and from a distance the boy was made well. The government official had gotten word Jesus was in the area so he went to see if he could heal his son. This man's request was for Jesus to come with him and heal his son, Jesus had another plan, to simply speak the healing.

In all of this we do not find a discussion about faith often found in the healing miracles. The man that comes to Jesus is specifically identified as a government official. Not a religious leader, not a Jewish person but a governmental official, possibly even a Roman. The official comes to Jesus because he had heard about the miracles being done, and that was the only hope for his son. Not once does the official claim to have a faith, or belief before the healing in pronounced. This is not the classic, "your faith has made you well" kind of moment.

Once Jesus tells the official to go home because his son is going to live, the official then believes and heads home. The only assurance of healing for his son is the words of Jesus, yet he believes and goes home. There is not any firsthand evidence. The son does not come strolling down the road. It is not a time when Jesus tells the boy to get up. There is a request and Jesus says it is cared for. The only way the official would know if it is true would be to go home and see for himself.

When we stood in front of God and the congregation at our wedding we made many commitments to each other and to God. Part of the ceremony was a commitment offered by God to us. If we keep the covenant made that day, and follow the will of God for our lives, then we will experience the fullness of God in our marriage. There was no tangible evidence of this promise being true, only words offered on God's behalf.

We simply had to believe and live our lives in accordance with the covenant we made that day. The only way we will find out if the promise is true is to keep living in the covenant. If we decide to not live by the covenant we made on our wedding day, we will never know if the promise of God for our marriage is true. Even if we are told by others what God has done for them, we will only know the truth and power of God for our marriage if we believe and live in the promise. All because God offers the promise long before we realize the promise.

Don't Get Lost in the Details

Scripture Texts: John 4:1-30; Psalms 26

There are times in our lives when the conversation we think we are in, is not really the conversation we are in. That is the situation for the woman Jesus encounters at the well. She thinks they are having a conversation about water and worship. In reality they are having a conversation about the condition of her soul.

All of the details of the passage can provide a smokescreen to the real point of Jesus' interaction with her. This is not about the number husbands she has had, not about where she worships, and it is certainly not about getting water from the well. Jesus wants this woman to know what matters most, the condition of her relationship with God.

It is easy for us to get distracted from what matters most. We must remember that what seems huge for us may not even be what God wants us to focus on. Likewise, that which seems small, or insignificant, might be exactly what needs the most focus. The woman at the well viewed herself as insignificant while all the other topics of conversation seemed most important. Jesus brings some clarity.

We can spend a lot of time in a marriage focusing on the wrong things. Perhaps it is better to say we can spend a lot of time making something more important than it is, while neglecting that which is most important. If a marriage includes children this gets even more challenging.

So, what is the most important thing? In a word relationships. First and foremost our relationship with God through Jesus Christ. The details of this relationship are not as important as the relationship itself. How we live this relationship is less important than making sure we have a relationship. In marriage the most important things is to focus on the relationship we have with our spouse in the midst of details.

Most the disagreements between spouses are rooted in details that are not that important in the end. However, if we get more focused on the details than on the relationship as a whole we will get sidetracked. We will find ourselves losing the relationship for the sake of winning the details. Like the woman at the well, we must focus on that which is most important and not get tangled in the details.

Decrease Our Self Importance

Scripture Text: John 3:22-36

John the Baptist is one of the most fascinating characters in the New Testament. He does not play by all the religious rules, lives out in the wilderness, dresses in eccentric ways, and is really clear about who he is and who God has called him to be.

After baptizing Jesus, John continues the work of baptism among the people in preparation for their encounter with the Messiah. The disciples of John get a little worried because all of a sudden they find Jesus baptizing people. In their view Jesus is stealing John's role but that is not at all how John understands the situation. In fact John is excited about his decreasing role and in the increasing role of Jesus.

Oswald Chambers wrote, "We should never be late to the funeral of our own self-importance." John the Baptist I am sure would have celebrated these words as they were embodied in his life. John was willing to see his importance reduced so that Christ could be lifted up. The greatest end to John's life was not connected to his own importance.

If our own importance is the chief end in our life we will find struggle in following Jesus and struggle in marriage. We must be willing to take on the attitude of John the Baptist in our relationship to Jesus and do the same in our marriage. Jesus must be greater than ourselves, and we must be willing to put our spouse ahead of ourselves.

This is not easy work as there seems to be something about being human that is driven by our own importance. All too often we are faced with the radical call of Jesus or following what we think is better. Additionally, we wrestle to put our spouse ahead of ourselves. Perhaps the key is to remember some things from John. First, John understood his role in preparing the way for someone else to have the glory. Second, John was clear that his importance must decrease as Jesus' increased. Third, John kept his focus on the ultimate goal, that more and more people would find grace, hope and love in the Messiah, Jesus Christ.