Two Better Than One

Scripture Texts: Exodus 18; Numbers 11:14-30; Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

We live in an individualistic culture. Many of our popular sayings reinforce this understanding. The end result is we think we need to be able to care for everything on our own. Self-reliance is the name of the game. Moses was the only one settling the disputes of the Israelites. That means one person settling the disputes of over 1.4 million people.

Jethro sees what is happening and steps in with a suggestion, let others help you. From that point forward the circle of leadership expands and Moses does not have to do it all by himself. That is the reminder in Ecclesiastes, two are better than one. Going through life on your own is no easy task, and we are not designed to go it alone. We are people of community, whether it is marriage or simply good friendships we are created to have others around us.

When it comes to marriage it seems obvious that there are now two people. Yet there is a clinging to the individual that can cause problems. For two to be better than one, the two need to be willing to allow others to help them. Marriage is a partnership that is dependent on mutuality. We are in this together and we walk together, that is mutuality. Marriage is much more than just two individuals now living together. Marriage is the joining together of two people so that the one may never be just one again.

Surrendering ourselves to the fact that we need others to get through life is the first step in experiencing the power of two being better than one. The next step is to actually accept help from someone else. Pride is what usually keeps us from realizing our need and allowing someone else to help. Pride will be a destructive force in a marriage, and in a life. Pride will result in us being alone and often not aware of how much we need another person. The third step is to remember steps one and two, and live them in our daily lives. These three will unlock the power of two being better than one.

Lifting Holy Hands

Scripture Texts: Exodus 17:8-15; Deuteronomy 25:17-19; 1 Timothy 2:8

Amalek saw an opportunity to defeat the people of Israel. They were tired, some were still making their way to the rest of the community, and Amalek took his army and attacked the people. In response Moses sent Joshua into to battle with a quickly gathered army. For his part Moses went up on the hillside and raised his hands over the battle. As long as the hands of Moses were lifted over the people, Israel had the upper hand.

It seems like that is how it happens all too often. When we are tired. When we are not quite at our intended destination. When we are still recovering from the last challenge. That is when yet another battle shows up. It seems the situations and people that would attack us are opportunistic and wait until we are in a weakened state.

At that point it might seem easier to give up than to fight back. Maybe it is because we often try to win the fight using force and physical strength rather than the most powerful tool we have. It is easy to underestimate the power of lifting our hands to God in prayer. This can be a physical lifting like with Moses, or it can simply be lifting our heart before God in prayer. The best way to address the challenges we face is with prayer, before the challenge, during the challenge and after the challenge.

For years we have struggled to keep regular prayer time in the life of our marriage. One of the many benefits we have enjoyed in sharing the journey of reading and blogging is that we are praying together like only a few times in our marriage. Each night after we read and write we spend time reviewing the day, identifying the prayer concerns we have and then we pray together.

This time of prayer has been a great way to lift our hands before God together. It is preparing us for whatever the road brings. We are finding that marriage with regular prayer together is far better than a marriage that only has prayer together once in a while. As long as we are lifting our hands to God, we will have the advantage in the battles before us.

Gratitute Over Complaining

Scripture Texts: Exodus 17:1-7; Psalms 78:12-25; 1 Corinthians 10:1-4

It seems to have been true as long as there have been humans, wherever there are people there will be complaining. The Israelites complained to Moses several times because they felt their needs were not being met. Most of the time the complaining was complete with the idea that it would be better to go back to Egypt where they were in bondage.

Complaining has the powerful ability to distract a person from God's presence and provision. The Israelites had food and water, they had guidance and a promise from God. Yet, because it was not what they wanted complaints rose up and they missed what God was doing in their midst.

When we have a heart full of complaint not only do we miss what God is doing we miss out on the relationships around us. How many people want to spend their time around someone who is constantly complaining? The distracting power of complaining results in not being able to see the value in the relationships we have.

One of the quickest ways to stress a marriage is to complain about our spouses. This happens in two ways, we complain directly to our spouses, or we complain to others about our spouses. Neither one is good and both will erode the beauty of the marriage God has given. When we complain we are sending the message that what we have is not good enough, is that the message we want to send to our spouse?

Complaining about each other only creates heartache, not improvement of relationship. Complaining creates more distance in a relationship rather than a drawing together of two people. Complaining has the power to take our eyes off what God has given us and to create division in a marriage. May we be people who replace complaining with gratefulness. Then we can experience all that God has given and promised for us.

Not By Bread Alone

Scripture Texts: Exodus 16; Deuteronomy 8; Matthew 4:1-4

The heart of the matter in these passages is twofold, what is it that sustains you and who are you trusting to provide it. The Israelites had a very real concern over where they would get food. While they were slaves in Egypt they had all kinds of food and while they were oppressed in work they always had enough to eat

Now in the wilderness as free people they had no crops and limited livestock. They were hungry and cried out to God. The God solution was to send manna. From what we can tell, manna was not anything extra special, and there were only so many ways to prepare it. Yet, for forty years the Lord provided enough manna and quail for the people.

Many probably thought it was manna and quail that sustained them. As we learn from subsequent passages however, it is not the material food that provides sustenance, it is God who sustains. In Deuteronomy and then as quoted by Jesus, people do not live by bread, or manna, alone but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.

Throughout the centuries people have tried all kinds of thing to sustain their lives and they have worked very hard to provide it all by themselves. For some it has been financial wealth, for others it has been a certain lifestyle. Others still think that if they can simply live a god enough life then they will make it through. Somewhere along the journey it is easy to forget that it is God who sustains and it is God who provides.

There are many important things that go into sustaining a marriage. There is the investment of time. The power of going on a date as a married couple should never be underestimated. There is also the investment of emotion, it is impossible to cultivate a deep marriage if the couple is emotionally withdrawn. Yet there is something that is more important than anything else. Perhaps it is better to say there is someone more important than anything else.

To cultivate the deepest marriage possible God must have center stage. This means trusting God to provide and sustain. Time together, shared emotions and all the other important aspects of marriage will only go so far. We must trust God to sustain our marriage, and provide what is needed in order to have the marriage sustained. Marriage does not live by bread alone but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.

Realizing Brevity

Scripture Texts: Exodus 15; Psalm 90; Revelation 15:1-4

The pslamist writes, "Teach us to realize the brevity of life" (v 12). There are seasons in life when it feels like days take longer to pass and we seem to wish the time would move more quickly. The result is we begin to wish away the gift of life that God has given us in hopes that it will all move faster. The encouragment from the Psalmist is important to for us to hear in the present day.

Life changes so quickly. As we write this a good friend of ours is lying in a hospital bed heavily sedated after a car accident. Just a few days ago his life was what might be called normal in the blink of an eye it all changed and never again will life be the same for him. We are trusting God and the medical staff for healing, and when he is able to, I am sure there will be a realization of the brevity of life.

So the question becomes what are we doing with the life we have been given, the life that is more brief than we often realize? All too often we use our life for things that are unimportant, or not focused on the call and direction of God. Perhaps it is because we suspect we have lots of time. We suspect that the scene played out in Revelation is way off in the distance. That is exactly why the words of the Psalmist are important still, Teach us to realize the brevity of life.

When we were first married I, Aaron, would tell Sarah that my goal is to be married for 100 years. To pull this off we would need to live to be 124 years old. Taking such a long view might cause us to think we have lots of time together. In some ways we do, however that can all change in an instant. So what we do today with our marriage makes a difference.

Making sure what needs to be said today gets said and what needs to be done, is done. This can be as simple as making sure to part each others presence with the words, I love you. We do not know if the brevity of life will show up and rob us of an opportunity to share those words and feelings with each other again. It is important to not miss an opportunity to share words or signs of affection with your spouse as life is more brief than we realize.

The Round About Way

Scripture Texts: Exodus 13; Exodus 14; Hebrews 11:24-29

In yesterday's post we looked at the idea that God is clear about the path ahead. That has not changed from yesterday to today. What we must remember is that while the path forward is clear, the path is not always direct.

The Israelites are lead into the wilderness but the are not lead on the most direct path. God takes the people on the round about way as they make their way to the promised land. We are even given the reason for this indirect route, because the people might face a battle with the Philistines and want to turn back to Egypt. The indirect path was used by God to give the people time to learn dependence and trust in God.

Before the crossing of the Red Sea we find there are still people who want to go back to Egypt. This will continue to be a part of the narrative of the people. The people begin to grumble and complain to Moses. After Moses answers them God answers Moses. The path forward is clear, and God was leading them all that was needed was to get moving. So the people walked across dry land out of Egypt and deeper into the wilderness.

For the most part in our marriage the path has been pretty clear. A few times we have been unsure about how and where God is calling us, however those have been the exception. More often our work has been keeping focused on God as the plan takes on paths that are not as direct as we thought. Each step of the way God was there to guide us, we sure could have used the pillar of cloud and the pillar of fire, we had to get moving.

Over the years we have almost always ended up where God has shown us to go. Likewise. more often than not the path was much more round about than we would have chosen. It was in the round about ventures that we have been shaped by God for the works God has been preparing us for.

As we have walked the journey of marriage we had no illusion the path would always be easy. Marriage takes significant effort, and requires continuous learning. We are sure God would use a more direct route to cultivating the marriage God longs for us to have. However, it seems like the round about route is the one that makes our marriage strong as we learn to trust in God and rely on each other.

The Path Made Clear

Scripture Texts: Exodus 11; Exodus 12; 1 Corinthians 5:7

The instructions from God seem pretty clear. Every detail of the Passover night is laid out in painstaking detail. The bread with no yeast and the animal prepared correctly. God was clear about who could celebrate the meal and who was not eligible. Every aspect clearly spelled out.

Almost equally amazing is the people get it right. They do everything exactly the way God had instructed through Moses. Right down to the asking for clothing, gold and silver from their Egyptian neighbors. Note, there are not people running around waiting for more clarity. There is not a committee explaining why they should wait. There is no alternate Passover plan floated. The people see the clear plan of God and they follow it.

There are some aspects of marriage that are not clear cut. In this way marriage is more of an art than a science as there are somethings that can only be learned through experience rather than reading about it. At the same time there are aspects of marriage that are pretty clear. God has offered for us the best way to live a fulfilling marriage.

We live in a day and age when there are many alternate plans for marriage being floated out among the culture. Despite God speaking clearly on the subject, in multiple places throughout the Scriptures. It appears God is calling humanity to celebrate marriage with in some clear boundaries. Further, God seems to be calling us to live within certain roles in married life. There is not as much gray area here as the culture around us attempts to create.

What would happen if the people of God began to treat the teachings of God around marriage the way the people treated the teaching of God around the Passover? Let's not limit it to marriage or the Passover. What if the people of God lived like God has called us in all that we do. What if we were to love, show mercy, seek justice and embody grace in the ways God desires for us to do? Is it possible that we could experience a freedom from captivity like the Israelites?