If we sow with a scarcity mindset, then we will never have enough. If we sow with a generous heart, then we will never go without. Notice the difference, scarcity is an understanding of the mind while generosity is a condition of the heart. Scarcity is figured by doing the math and thinking about what we have versus what we do not have. Generosity is about having an abundance of love and grace at work in our heart.
We can adopt a scarcity mentality with our spouse without even knowing it. The ways it creeps in are easy to miss. We can become controlling of our spouses time, not wanting anyone else to have more of it than us. The attention our spouse gives to a project can cause us to move into scarcity. There really are few limits to the things that cause us to feel like there is never enough, time, attention, and connection with our spouse. This becomes self-fulfilling as when we are in a scarcity mentality enough is never enough.
When we choose to have a generous heart we can be generous with our spouse. Allowance is made for time spent with other people, projects, and attention. There is an assurance and trust to a healthy marriage that keeps us confident we have an abundance. This is a product of a deep relationship with our spouse. Like with our relationship with God, if we do not have a deep and healthy relationship with our spouse it is almost impossible to be generous.
The key to this is trusting your partner. When the trust balance is zero we are locked into a scarcity mentality. Finding every possible way to develop and deepen the trust we have of our spouse will increase our ability to be generous toward our spouse. If you and your spouse are struggling with trust, there is no greater work that you must address. The best starting point is to talk about the areas of mistrust being sure to identify why the lack of trust is present. Then build a plan to increase the trust in your relationship. Out of this greater generosity will begin to find its way into your marriage.
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