Our Unity Matters

Scripture Texts: Matthew 12:22-42; Proverbs 16

Jesus is accused by the religious leaders of obtaining his power from Satan rather than God. When you are the Son of God this is a pretty significant charge and challenge to who you are. This is one of the more direct responses Jesus gives to the religious leaders, "Any Kingdom divided against itself will fall..."

Throughout history we find earthly kingdoms that learned this the hard way. Our own country, the United States, went through a time when it was divided and the Civil War was the result an attempt to preserve the union of the nation.Abraham Lincoln knew that if the country was allowed to remain divided that both sides of the conflict would be destroyed.

It is popular in history to point out winners and losers in war and conflict. The Civil War is not immune to this, and it becomes east to think the North won and the South lost. In reality it was not either side that won or lost, in fact the union of our nation was the victor and destruction of our nation was the loser. It might not always seem like it but everyone won the civil war because the union was preserved.

The union of marriage faces the same truth. If the union of a marriage is divided against itself, it stands no chance of persevering. This does not mean that we always agree with our spouse. What it means is the unity of our lives is more important that either individual. Take a look at a marriage that has fallen apart. In every single case at least one of the partners in the marriage decided to seek after their own importance and desires more than the unity of the marriage.

This is the divided house that cannot stand. Cultivating a healthy marriage means that we are willing to put our individual drives, desires and dreams on hold so that we can keep our house from being divided. This also means that we are the biggest advocate and champion of our spouse. If the whole world is against us, our spouse is for us when our marriage is healthy and unified.

That Which Matters Most

Scripture Text: Matthew 12:1-21

The religious leaders of Jesus' day get a lesson about what matters most in the Kingdom of God from Jesus himself. The Pharisees had a very elaborate set of rules and regulations they wanted people to follow. The goal of these rules and regulations was to keep people from even coming close to sinful living. In the midst of their quest they began to value their rules and regulations more than the people they were trying to protect.

The issue with the Pharisees was never their desire to see people have a relationship with God, or to see people live in such a way as to honor God with their life. What was at issue was the fact that the rules and regulations meant more to them than the actual relationship with God. Pharisees had lost sight of that which matters most, and that caused them to have the right intention with the wrong application.

Before we are too hard on the Pharisees, we have to recognize our own ability to have the same problem. In our desire to see others live the fullness of life that God calls us to, we can get hung up on the rules and regulations designed to protect people. We can miss keeping our focus on that which matters most.

This missed focus can happen in a marriage as well. We can become expert in doing all the right things. We can meet all the rules and regulations for a healthy marriage, and still not have a healthy marriage. Why? Because we did not keep the relationship with our spouse as the primary focus. It can become more important to keep the rules than to keep our relationship.

Sure all the things we do are in an honest and well-meaning attempt. They are filled with wonderful and good intention. The problem becomes our application. Doing the right things that will cultivate a healthy marriage only matter if we will focus on that which matters most, our relationship with our spouse. When our primary goal is to have the most amazing marriage possible, the steps become a tool to achieve the goal, not a the goal themselves.

New and Old Together

Scripture Texts: Matthew 9:1-17; Psalm 78

Without special care, new things and old things struggle to exist in the same space. Sometimes it is impossible for the new and old to be in the same place and time. Jesus was talking about this when he challenged the crowd regarding wineskins. He reminds, "You cannot put new wine in old wineskins, or they will burst."

It was not that Jesus had no value for the things of old, instead Jesus wanted to make sure that which has been is preserved while something new comes into being. To be clear something new is always coming and we have to pay attention how we balance the new and the old. The way of relating to God as found in the Old Testament did not go away when Jesus came. Yet, there was something new in our relationship with God emerging.

Holding too tightly to that which has been creates all kinds of problems in our relationship with God. We must make room for God to continue to create anew, alongside that which has always been. To use the image Jesus used, new wine in new wineskins, along side of old wine in old wineskins.

There is a profound moment in a wedding celebration that can be easily missed. It is the presentation of the bride by the family. The person officiating the service will ask something akin to, who gives this person to this other person in marriage? Shortly after the ceremony in a Christian tradition speaks of leaving one family and starting a new one.

This does not mean the families the couple grew up in no longer exist. Further it does not mean the new couple will never again have interaction with their families. What is happening at the wedding is the new family is forged and the existing family is no longer the primary family for the couple. This has classically been called, leaving and cleaving. We leave one family and cleave to our spouse, our new family.

In marriages where there is not a leaving and cleaving great struggle is often found. Trying to fit a new family into the mold of existing families will cause a lot of hurt, pain and anguish. A new family cannot be forced into the existing families mold, something new has come. The family that we grew up in will always be important, and always be a part of who we are. Once we are married however, the family we have with our spouse becomes the most important family, our primary family.

The Works and Wonders

Scripture Text:  Matthew 8:18-38

As followers of Jesus it can be hard to fully comprehend what it means to follow Jesus, and to come to terms with the works and wonder of Jesus. This is nothing new as since he walked on earth people have struggled. As a result we can simplify the call to follow Jesus while we also remove the supernatural power of Jesus.

To be a follower of Jesus when he walked the earth was not a matter of attending a few church services and toting a Bible around. The call to follow Jesus was a call to fundamentally change the way we live our lives. We are invited to exchange living from a perspective of society, for living the life that Jesus modeled and taught. We are called to be countercultural. Whether it was the first century, or today, this is not an easy task.

Part of being a follower of Jesus is to recognize the supernatural of Jesus. Jesus is able to do things that science and reason have tried to explain but cannot. Calming the sea with a mere command, is not "normal" climate behavior. Casting demons into pigs after a conversation about it, is not average day-to-day behavior. Yet, that is exactly the work and wonder Jesus was about.

A common question in the United States is why we do not see the miraculous today like we read about in the Bible? Some assume it is because God does not act like that anymore. Another would reason the miracles never really took place, they are only written about. Lots of answers are given that remove supernatural ability from Jesus. Perhaps we do not see it as often in our culture because we have determined Jesus not capable.

Living a Christ-centered marriage has never been an easy thing. The values by which we live when we are following Christ come into conflict with the world around us. Marriage is not immune to this. In fact we live in a time when holding to Christ-centered values in marriage is not only hard to do, it is hard to define. Still the call is clear, live a life, a marriage with Christ as the measure of our values not the culture around us.

When it comes to our relationship with the supernatural works and wonders of Jesus, marriage can often be a visible sign of the miraculous. The idea the two people could commit to living the rest of their lives together, through sickness and health, for richer, for poorer, till death do us part requires the supernatural work of God. Perhaps as we have tried to do it on our own, rendering Jesus impotent, marriage has fallen prey to the disposable nature of so many things in our culture.

Marriage gets viewed as disposable because it is thought to be only the work of humans. The works and wonders of Jesus are cut out of the equation. Couple this with the challenge of married life in a culture that struggles to have clear value of marriage, and the trap is set for poor quality marriage. To cultivate a healthy marriage we must first be willing to follow Jesus, even when it is not culturally valued. Second, we must keep space for the supernatural works and wonders of Jesus.

Jesus is Willing, Are You?

Scripture Texts: Matthew 8:1-17; Psalm 77

Can you imagine asking Jesus to do something, and adding the phrase if you are willing? Most of us do not have to imagine, at some point in our journey with Christ we have wondered or asked if God is willing to do what we would like. For the man in Matthew 8, he asks if Jesus is willing, and finds himself healed.

Never was the question whether Jesus was able, it was a question of willingness. From time to time we get those two things confused. We wonder if Jesus is willing to do something in our lives when we really are wondering if Jesus is able to do something in our lives. Too often we seek after Jesus hoping he will be able to accomplish what it is we want.

Jesus is able to do all things, exceedingly, abundantly more than we can imagine. There are things Jesus is not willing to do in our lives. Not because we are unloved by Jesus, rather it is because of the great love Jesus has for us that there is a limit in the willingness. What we are asking for might not be the best for us or our relationship with Jesus.

There is another possibility in the willingness question. Perhaps we ask willingness of Jesus when we are really wondering if we want something to really happen. It might be fitting for Jesus to declare he is willing and ask if we are willing. The greatest limit to what Jesus can do in our lives is not the ability or willingness of Jesus, it is our willingness.

Since before the day of our wedding, our desire has been to have God use our marriage for great things. In fact we asked God to use our marriage, if willing, to help others experience the blessing of marriage, and ultimately to experience love and grace in Jesus Christ by becoming a follower of Jesus. While we have asked it, the question has never been the willingness of God, it has been our willingness.

Are we willing to live our lives in such a way that God can fully use our marriage? There are lots of understandings about what marriage is in this day and age. This is not about gender, and same gender marriage, it is about the ideals people have of marriage and what a good marriage is. It has become commonplace to settle for something less than the fullness of God because we are not willing to live in such a way that God can fully use.

Many marriages settle for good enough, when God is willing, able and hoping that we will strive for fullness. That we will be willing to live following after Jesus with our whole hearts, that our marriages will be different than the ideals of society, that we will cultivate a marriage that will do whatever it takes, to be used by God, for the Kingdom of love and grace to be experienced here and now.

Foundations Matter

Scripture Text: Matthew 7

Recently our children along with some of their friends were building a human pyramid. All of the children were of different heights and builds so the way they arranged themselves in the pyramid mattered. Somewhere along the way a few of the smallest in the group wanted to be part of the base while the biggest of the group wanted to be on the top. You can only guess how this worked out.

The foundation of any structure determines how the rest is build and what can sit at the top. Jesus is clear how this relates to our lives. We must have a foundation built on bedrock otherwise everything else is suspect to being destroyed in the storms. This teaching comes at the close of the Sermon on the Mount, and particularly in a section where Jesus makes clear his role in the life of people.

To build a solid foundation we must invite God to be the center of our lives. The way we do this is by making the decision to be a follower of Jesus Christ. A life without God can look good, and appear to have everything in place. Yet, when the storms come and the torrents crash against the foundation of our life, it will be washed away. Any foundation that leaves God out of the mix will reach a crumbling point.

There are many ingredients that go into a healthy marriage. Love and romance, honor and respect, humility and submission, the list could go on and on. All of these are important and need attention, however all of these things without God as the foundation of your marriage and it will crumble when the storms come.

Before we were married we spend several months writing back and forth, handwritten letters, in which we would complain to each other that we could not find a person to date who met the standards we were using to measure potential spouses. Through this we each generated a list, sending to each other for review. Keep in mind we were not dating at this point, we were two friends who were sharing our hearts.

When we reviewed the separate lists it became clear we were looking for the same things. It did not take too long for us to realize that in each other we had found what we were looking for in a potential spouse. At the top of the list was they must be a follower of Jesus, and God must have the top spot in their life. We began our relationship and our marriage with this value at the very center of our lives together.

Over the years we have faced storms, financial challenges, death of a parent and grandparents, moving several times, and life situations we simply did not want to be in. Through it all we have been able to cling to the foundation of Christ in our lives and marriage. Each time we have held on, it has made it easier the next time.

Before you read this and think how easy that sounds, know that we have had to work hard at keeping Christ at the center of our lives and marriage. It is not something that happens just because it is on a list of priorities. We have needed to and will continue to invest the time and energy in keeping Christ as the foundation. This means keeping in the Scriptures, together and individually. It means time in prayer with each other and for each other. Time in worship and service keep us tuned into God's abundant grace. We have to be intentional about cultivating a Christ-centered life, so that we can cultivate a Christ-centered marriage. It takes investment, and the return is worth every bit of it.

Power of our Thoughts

Scripture Texts: Matthew 5: 17-37; Proverbs 15

Actions speak louder than words, and our thoughts drive them both. In fact our thoughts can be more dangerous, or life-giving then either actions or words. Jesus is really pushing us to understand this through this section of the Sermon on the Mount. Our thought life is powerful enough for our thinking to be equal to the actions and words, even to the point of murder.

The way we think about another person often becomes how we treat them. If we think of someone and pity them, we tend to treat them accordingly. When we think about someone in anger, we tend to treat that person in an angry way. If we are to think about another person filled with hope, we treat them with hope. On and on the list goes, yet the point easily eludes us. The way we think drives the way we act.

Many people have heard and given the advice to a young couple with the ink on the marriage certificate still drying, do not go to bed angry. In light of what Jesus reminds us about the connection between our thinking and our actions, this advise looms large. If we are angry with our spouse and we do not resolve it, the angry thoughts will grow as will our treatment of our spouse poorly. This is not about peace in the home before sleep, it is about not allowing negative thoughts to flourish.

Here is a little test/challenge. For the next ten days keep track of your thoughts regarding you spouse. When negative thoughts begin to creep in, push them away as quickly as possible. Then replace the negative with positive. As the positive thoughts about your spouse enter, find ways to hold on to them. Devote the next ten days to thinking only positive about your spouse.

Cultivating a healthy marriage is about keeping our thought life on track. Interestingly enough the way we think about our spouse will impact the emotions we experience about our spouse. The emotions will directly impact the way we treat our spouse. We pray that we can all be people who think about the amazing person we call our spouse.