A Do Nothing Day

Scripture Texts: Hebrews 3:7-19; Hebrews 4:1-16

A day of nothing. It seems almost impossible to imagine. A day when the list of places to go and things to do are pushed aside and the agenda of the day is nothing. This is a major component of sabbath. Each person is to set aside a day where the agenda is to rest from our labor so that we might keep our lives from being overcome by all that we try to cram into it.

The practice of sabbath is as old as creation. In fact that is where we first learn of sabbath. After God finishes the work of creating all of the cosmos, a day of rest is declared. To be certain there was still work to be done in all that God had created, however a day was set aside before the work continued to rest and reset the focus.

Throughout history people have struggled with Sabbath. Some fail to practice a day or rhythm of Sabbath, while others run the risk of being so legalistic about sabbath they forget the God connection to sabbath. We must remember Jesus took times of rest, as appropriate and needed. At the same time Jesus was often found doing the work of God on the sabbath. Perhaps it is less about a set aside day and more about a set aside heart.

Marriage requires days of nothing. Days when there are no lists of things to get done around the house. No activities to race between. No alarm clock. A day that is set aside for a married couple to simply be together and remember the God who has joined them together.

For us this often means getting away from the house and our family. Sometimes it is an overnight away, other times it is as easy as an evening out. This is not something we do weekly as is a common pattern of sabbath, rather we work it into the ebb and flow of life. We find ways to have a day of nothing that we can spend together.

Like God used a sabbath day after creation, we too need to find ways to rest to have a day of nothing. It is important to find days where we do this as individuals, and as couples. These days are not so we can do nothing for the sake of nothing. No, the do nothing days are so that we can do nothing and remember that God is God of our life not all the other stuff we fill our days and marriage with. There is only one God and sometimes we need a do nothing day to remember that.

Letting God be The Builder

Scripture Texts: Hebrews 2:5-18; Hebrews 3:1-6; Psalm 95

A few years ago we purchased a house. In the process of dealing with all of the paper work that comes with buying a house we came across the abstract. An abstract for a house is the history of the house, tracing the line of ownership to the very start of the parcel of land. Along the way there were several people who owned the property, and eventually a house was built on the property in 1930.

There is plenty of evidence of additions and other changes to the house. We have continued in the tradition of making adaptations to the house as we have remodeled some areas and added other areas. All along the way doing the work needed to make our house into our home. No matter what changes we make to the house, it will always be traced back to the people who built it.

When we look at our lives, we are continuing to build our lives each day. The decisions and situations of our life are the building materials used to construct our lives. Looking across our lives we can find times when we have made a real mess of our lives, and times of great triumph and success. However we must remember who is the ultimate builder of our lives.

God is the creator of all life, and this includes our life. Regardless of what we make of our lives we will never be greater than the one who has created our life. Likewise the image and imprint of the Creator will always be a part of our lives. Ultimately the best way to build a life is to be a co-laborer with God allowing God's love and grace to constantly mold and shape our life.

This is no different for a marriage. During our time dating we began to build a foundation for our marriage. This foundation gave way to the first glimpses of what our marriage might look like as we journeyed through our engagement. On the day of our wedding the basic frame of our marriage was established. Ever since we have continued to build and develop the house that is our marriage.

Through it all it can be easy to think we are the ones building our marriage. In many ways we are the ones charged with the effort to build. However, we must remember our marriage is never greater than the God who knit us together. If we build our marriage without leaving room for God, we will find all sorts of extra challenges and struggles.

Even better than leaving room for God, is allowing God to be the architect and builder of our marriage. This means we remain open to the leading of God, who will show us the way to build the best marriage we can. When we stay in tune with what God is doing, God's creative imprint on our marriage will be seen long before any other aspect of our marriage is seen.

The Sting of Betrayal

Scripture Texts: Matthew 26:69-75; Matthew 27:1-10; Psalm 92

Betrayal is one of those expereiences that carries a painful sting to it. Not just for the person being betrayed, also for the person who has engaged in betrayal and comes to realize the fullness of what they have done. For Peter it was remembering the words of Jesus as the rooster crows. For Judas it was found more in a realization that he had handed over the Savior of the world to be executed.

The accounts of Peter and Judas are only two of the many people who betrayed Jesus in the last hours of his life and the hours directly after his death. Throughout history people continue to betray Jesus, in fact if we get honest with ourselves, we betray Jesus. For the most part it is not in major and blatant ways. We betray Jesus through our actions, thoughts and unfulfilled intentions.

In the midst of our betrayal Jesus is constant in faith, love, and grace for us. That is where the sting of betrayal comes to us. We know that we have not been faithful to Christ, yet Christ continues to be faithful to us. We have transgressed while Jesus has loved.

On the list of things that can disrupt a marriage in major ways, betrayal in near the top of the list. Most do not have the ability of Jesus to continue in faithful trust once betrayal has entered a relationship. The question will always remain as to whether betrayal will happen again. Here we find the sting of betrayal for both the betrayed and the betrayer.

Once betrayed trust is a constant struggle, and therefore cultivating a full and healthy marriage is a constant struggle. Likewise, the person committing the betrayal comes to know the pain they have caused, along with the ongoing consequences of betray for their marriage.

Whether it is in our relationship with Jesus, or with our spouse, betrayal is a character issue. Unhealthy pride is the root of betrayal. So one of the best ways to keep away from betrayal is to keep ourselves grounded with an accurate picture of who we are. When we overestimate our worth, we fool ourselves into thinking our betrayal is either justified or we will never be caught. On the other side, when we underestimate our worth, we quickly use betrayal as a mode of preservation. Either way, the two most important relationships in our lives will experience great pain.

Making every effort to keep betrayal out of our relationships is of high importance. Once betrayal enters the relationship the impact almost never leaves.

To Be a Servant

Scripture Text: Matthew 23

For some being a servant to others comes naturally. For a vast majority of people being a servant to others requires choice and intention. Some of this has to do with humans being selfish when left to our own devices. There is a great tendency toward wanting to make sure things work out best for us, rather than best for someone else.

Jesus warns his followers to not give into this tendency, like the religious leaders of the day. According to the teaching of Jesus what matters most is not how important you appear to other people, it is how willing you are to be a servant to another person.

This is not a question of our actions as much as it is a question of our heart. More specifically, whether our heart is tied more to God than to ourselves. The religious leaders, as Jesus points out regularly, were more interested in the form of God but not a relationship with God. They wanted to look the part and appear to be close to God, while in reality they were far from God. This was seen best in how they treat other people.

Cultivating a healthy marriage means being on a relentless pursuit to serve our spouse more than we are served by our spouse. The foundation of being a servant to our spouse is found in our relationship with God. Keeping God first allows us to set an order to our relationships that produces a marriage of servanthood. Setting the priority order of our relationships helps us to prioritize our servanthood. First we serve God, second we serve our spouse, third our children, next our extended family.

This order has enabled us to keep our marriage focused on the things that matter most. It has helped us to approach each other with the heart of a servant rather than seeking to be served. When we are struggling to be a servant to each other it is because we have gotten the priorities messed up.  In fact when we get the first priority wrong, all the others fall apart as well. The most common reason for the misguided priority is self-importance.These are the times when we need to spend the time making sure that God is first in our lives.

Never Too Late

Scripture Text: Matthew 20:1-19

Looking back on our lives it might be easy to see all the times we have not gotten things quite right. Some might even start to think it is too late to get back on track. It is clear from the parable Jesus tells that it is never too late to experience the love and grace that God has offered to us in Jesus. Sure there might be some who grumble about who gets grace when but that is not how God approaches grace.

Regardless of where life has taken us. Regardless of the path we have walked. Whether we grabbed a hold of God's grace early, in the middle, later, or possibly are still considering, it is never too late. We can start now, this very moment to live in the grace shower God has offered to us in Jesus Christ.

To experience the fullness of this grace we first must realize our need for grace. Each of us must own up to our past failings and misguided steps on the path. Next we seek the forgiveness offered through Christ on the cross where we were reconciled to God. Then we begin the journey of living and learning the life of grace. It is never to late to change the path you are on, and today is a great day to walk the path of God's grace.

For some in their marriage it might feel like it is too late. That there have been too many harsh words, and too many harsh actions to repair and rebuild. The message of Jesus in the parable is still true, it is never too late. Reconciliation is always a possibility, if we are willing to pursue it. Like the journey of experiencing God's grace we start with owning our past failings and misguided steps. We own the harsh words and actions that have originated with us. Next we seek forgiveness for the wrongs we have committed. Then we begin the journey of cultivating a marriage that is healthy and full.

It is never too late to embrace the grace of God at work in our lives and world. It is also never too late to cultivate a marriage that is beyond our wildest imagination. As long as there is still light in the day, God, the owner of this vineyard, is searching and seeking those who would enter the vineyard. Regardless of when we start in the vineyard we all receive the same amount of grace, the full amount God has to give.

Hearts Joined Together

Scripture Texts: Matthew 19; Proverbs 17

Marriage being a hot button topic is not something new to our current age. As we can see from the Gospel of Matthew, even since the days of Moses has there been a struggle with understanding marriage. Jesus offers what seems to be a clear teaching on the subject, the couple will leave their families to be joined together to create a new family. Because it is God who has put this new family together, no one should try to take it apart.

Jesus does offer one exception to this, sexual immorality. In all other situations, the intention of God is that the couple would remain together. Before moving on too quickly we have to at least acknowledge the challenge of the term sexual immorality. There are few terms in all of scripture as loaded as this term, especially as it applies to our current day. We find no shortage of people willing to generate lists of what constitutes sexual immorality, and usually the list is focused on behavior. While our actions matter, it seems the point of origin for sexual immorality is our heart.

When we allow our heart to be joined to something other than our spouse, this is sexual immorality. This means sexual immorality shows up not only in the actions we take, it also shows up in the thoughts we carry, the images we allow into our lives, the emotions we can give away. Rarely does the physical act of sex with someone who is not your spouse start out as a quest for a sexual encounter. It starts when we start allowing our hearts to be joined to something that is not God, and is not our spouse. We give away our heart.

Obviously there are many situations and interactions we need to avoid to keep from giving our hearts away. Possibly more important than what we need to keep away from are the things we need to be about so that our heart is only given to God and to our spouse. The most important things we can do is to daily offer our heart, our whole heart, to the one to whom we are joined. This is done through conversation, mundane and important. Your spouse should not find out about what is happening in your life or heart as secondhand information.

It is not clear what Jesus meant by sexual immorality. If we are honest about it, no greater clarity comes from the other Scripture writers. Still, Jesus and others are clear we are to avoid it as it will derail the relationships of our life. It will cause us to give our heart to someone or something that is not appropriate or deserving of our heart. For those that are married, it is the express lane to putting asunder what God has joined together.

The Glasses We Wear

Scripture Text: Matthew 17

Jesus viewed the world around him through a different lens than everyone else. This makes sense due to the fact that Jesus was fully human and fully God. Still, it is profound the number of times Jesus faces this tension between living in a culture without being co-opted by the culture. The earliest followers of Jesus seemed to struggle with this as much as we do today even with being eyewitnesses.

Peter, James and John try to process the moment we now call the transfiguration through their lens and experience of the culture by which they were surrounded. Their response to the amazing moment was one hopelessly based on a worldly lens rather than a Kingdom of God lens. Who could blame them they were still developing their Kingdom lens.

When we become followers of Jesus we do not simply take on a new belief system complete with a list of things we do and a list of things we do not do. We take on a new way of being, a new way of viewing the world. We put on a new lens by which we see everything around us, and the lens is often in opposition to the world around is.

We both wear glasses, and without them we do not see the world around us quite right. Every couple of years we go to the doctor to get our eyes checked and make sure our lenses help us to see as clearly as possible. When we get a new prescription it takes some time to get use to seeing the world through the new lenses. The same is true with our new Kingdom of God lenses, it takes time and practice before we can see clearly as the Creator sees. Some would argue it takes a lifetime.

When we get married we add a new lens to the way we view the world. No longer are we viewing the world as one person, rather the two have become one. The days of making decisions that only impact one person are gone. Not to mention the things, people and places that were once important to us change in their importance. We begin to view the world in different ways.

As followers of Jesus who are also married we have both lenses before us, and both change the way we view the world. This changed view of the world should result in us living different with our marriage and our day-to-day life. Our marriage should seem unusual to the world around us as we have chosen to live with the Kingdom of God view as our primary view.

It is okay if the world around us does not understand or even like the way we live, it is not for their approval that we strive. What matters most is that we view the world as God views the world. Further that we would live in our marriage in such a way that through us people might catch a glimpse of the Kingdom of God. That there would be moments when we can be the lens by which others can see God's Kingdom at work.

Small Things Create a Big Impact

Scripture Texts: Matthew 15:29-39; Matthew 16:1-12

There are few aromas as wonderful as fresh baked bread. The simple concoction of flour, water and yeast yield an unmistakable aroma. Jesus reminds the disciples and us the reader, that only a small amount of yeast is needed to cause dough to rise many times its size. There is great power in small things.

From this lesson we can understand of paying attention to the small things in life as they can have great impact. It is not all the small things we need to pay attention to. Our attention needs to be give to the small things that have the greatest impact. All too often we are very focused on the small things, only it is the wrong small things.

Time and energy are given to small and inconsequential things at the expense of small, very important things. Rather than focus on honoring God with the small day-to-day acts of devotion and obedience, we can get stuck on small things like someone not liking our clothing or hairstyle. Regardless of the small thing we focus on, the things we commit our focus to will grow in size and influence in our lives.

Marriage is driven by the small things. From the mundane, toilet paper roll installation, toothpaste squeezing, and other items, to the more significant like flowers, words of encouragement, and simple presence. Sure the major things of marriage matter, however it is in the small things that a healthy marriage is cultivated.

Getting the small things right will add so much more to the major things in a marriage. When we take time on a daily basis to be present, and supportive for our spouse in the mundane, this will bloom into presence and support that is even more significant in the times of trial. Likewise if we get stuck on the mundane and cause strife and division, this too will grow and impact the way we encounter the trials of life and marriage. Remember, that which we focus on grows, so let us make sure we are focused on the small things that will produce the impact that honors our spouse and delights our God.

Remember Your Role

Scripture Texts: Matthew 15:10-28; Psalm 83

Have you ever asked God to do something to another person because of how they treated you? While it is not a part of our humanity that we like to broadcast to others, chances are most people have wanted God to get someone else. The Psalmist is writing for this very purpose, for God to get the enemy.

Interestingly it is the writer who is speaking in the Psalm not God. There are other parts of the Bible we find God speaking through the prophets and other teachers. Here we have a human asking God to take action in a particular way. God does not answer the request, at least we do not have the answer.

This passage shows us how easy it is for us as humans to confuse our role with the role of God. It is easy for us to think God does not see what is happening and therefore we must help out by notifying God. Further, once we offer the notification we are quick to offer the plan by which God should act. In this we find revealed the primary struggle of humanity, we get confused and think we are God.

There is only one God, and one Father who is over all and through all and in all (Ephesians 4:6). Part of God being God is that it is God that knows all things and how best to be at work in all situations. If we are not careful we can even tell God how to best be at work in our spouse. As if God is not the one who created our spouse and knows our spouse's inmost being.

In marriage we must learn to help each other listen for what God has in mind, and trust that God knows better than we do. We are not in the business of telling God how to be God, and we are not in the business of telling our spouse how to live their life. What we are about is listening together and then being the chief encourager in the life of our spouse.

Heart and Words

Scripture Texts: Matthew 14:22-36; Matthew 15:1-9

It is real easy to give something lip service without much connection behind it. That is what Jesus is accusing the religious leaders of his day of doing in regard to God. They had their big elaborate worship services complete with fancy robes, fancy songs and high sounding rites and rituals. All the while their hearts were more connected with their rituals and rites than with God.

Nearly every night we have taken time to dig through the scriptures to see what God might have for us. As we do this it would be easy to fall into our act of devotion becoming empty and void of connection to God. Daily reading the scripture is not intended to give a list to check off, rather we are to meet the living God.

Any of our beloved and important practices can fall prey to losing its connection to the heart of God. Times of worship, mission, service, prayer and study can all be done while missing the very reason we do all these things. Before we are too hard on the religious leaders we must come to terms with the fact that it could just as easily be us, and probably has been.

It is not only our relationship with God that we run the danger of having a disconnect between our words, actions, and our heart. In our marriage we might say all the right things and do all the right things while leaving our heart out of the equation. Utter the words I love you to our spouse without the connection of our heart behind it ring empty.

When our words do not match our heart falsehood is allowed to enter into our marriage. At the outset this might not seem too bad, in fact we might justify it by thinking we need to say it until it is true, even when we do not feel it. Reality is rather than say something to our spouse that is not connected with our heart, we need to search our own heart to see where the disconnect is.

Empty words left uninspected grow separation in a marriage. Once the separation begins it becomes easier to offer empty words. Then the vicious spiral has begun and the ending is usually not real pretty. Over time it becomes impossible to trust the words shared between spouses and communication becomes superficial and insignificant.

The best way to prevent this disconnect is to ruthlessly pursue a life-giving connection with our spouse. Tending the condition of our hearts, and relationship is top priority if we are to cultivate a healthy marriage. This requires time together, both quantity and quality. Time to talk, laugh, cry and live life deeply together. All of the time invested will allow us to offer our heart and our words to our spouse creating a marriage that is full and healthy.

Our Unity Matters

Scripture Texts: Matthew 12:22-42; Proverbs 16

Jesus is accused by the religious leaders of obtaining his power from Satan rather than God. When you are the Son of God this is a pretty significant charge and challenge to who you are. This is one of the more direct responses Jesus gives to the religious leaders, "Any Kingdom divided against itself will fall..."

Throughout history we find earthly kingdoms that learned this the hard way. Our own country, the United States, went through a time when it was divided and the Civil War was the result an attempt to preserve the union of the nation.Abraham Lincoln knew that if the country was allowed to remain divided that both sides of the conflict would be destroyed.

It is popular in history to point out winners and losers in war and conflict. The Civil War is not immune to this, and it becomes east to think the North won and the South lost. In reality it was not either side that won or lost, in fact the union of our nation was the victor and destruction of our nation was the loser. It might not always seem like it but everyone won the civil war because the union was preserved.

The union of marriage faces the same truth. If the union of a marriage is divided against itself, it stands no chance of persevering. This does not mean that we always agree with our spouse. What it means is the unity of our lives is more important that either individual. Take a look at a marriage that has fallen apart. In every single case at least one of the partners in the marriage decided to seek after their own importance and desires more than the unity of the marriage.

This is the divided house that cannot stand. Cultivating a healthy marriage means that we are willing to put our individual drives, desires and dreams on hold so that we can keep our house from being divided. This also means that we are the biggest advocate and champion of our spouse. If the whole world is against us, our spouse is for us when our marriage is healthy and unified.

That Which Matters Most

Scripture Text: Matthew 12:1-21

The religious leaders of Jesus' day get a lesson about what matters most in the Kingdom of God from Jesus himself. The Pharisees had a very elaborate set of rules and regulations they wanted people to follow. The goal of these rules and regulations was to keep people from even coming close to sinful living. In the midst of their quest they began to value their rules and regulations more than the people they were trying to protect.

The issue with the Pharisees was never their desire to see people have a relationship with God, or to see people live in such a way as to honor God with their life. What was at issue was the fact that the rules and regulations meant more to them than the actual relationship with God. Pharisees had lost sight of that which matters most, and that caused them to have the right intention with the wrong application.

Before we are too hard on the Pharisees, we have to recognize our own ability to have the same problem. In our desire to see others live the fullness of life that God calls us to, we can get hung up on the rules and regulations designed to protect people. We can miss keeping our focus on that which matters most.

This missed focus can happen in a marriage as well. We can become expert in doing all the right things. We can meet all the rules and regulations for a healthy marriage, and still not have a healthy marriage. Why? Because we did not keep the relationship with our spouse as the primary focus. It can become more important to keep the rules than to keep our relationship.

Sure all the things we do are in an honest and well-meaning attempt. They are filled with wonderful and good intention. The problem becomes our application. Doing the right things that will cultivate a healthy marriage only matter if we will focus on that which matters most, our relationship with our spouse. When our primary goal is to have the most amazing marriage possible, the steps become a tool to achieve the goal, not a the goal themselves.

New and Old Together

Scripture Texts: Matthew 9:1-17; Psalm 78

Without special care, new things and old things struggle to exist in the same space. Sometimes it is impossible for the new and old to be in the same place and time. Jesus was talking about this when he challenged the crowd regarding wineskins. He reminds, "You cannot put new wine in old wineskins, or they will burst."

It was not that Jesus had no value for the things of old, instead Jesus wanted to make sure that which has been is preserved while something new comes into being. To be clear something new is always coming and we have to pay attention how we balance the new and the old. The way of relating to God as found in the Old Testament did not go away when Jesus came. Yet, there was something new in our relationship with God emerging.

Holding too tightly to that which has been creates all kinds of problems in our relationship with God. We must make room for God to continue to create anew, alongside that which has always been. To use the image Jesus used, new wine in new wineskins, along side of old wine in old wineskins.

There is a profound moment in a wedding celebration that can be easily missed. It is the presentation of the bride by the family. The person officiating the service will ask something akin to, who gives this person to this other person in marriage? Shortly after the ceremony in a Christian tradition speaks of leaving one family and starting a new one.

This does not mean the families the couple grew up in no longer exist. Further it does not mean the new couple will never again have interaction with their families. What is happening at the wedding is the new family is forged and the existing family is no longer the primary family for the couple. This has classically been called, leaving and cleaving. We leave one family and cleave to our spouse, our new family.

In marriages where there is not a leaving and cleaving great struggle is often found. Trying to fit a new family into the mold of existing families will cause a lot of hurt, pain and anguish. A new family cannot be forced into the existing families mold, something new has come. The family that we grew up in will always be important, and always be a part of who we are. Once we are married however, the family we have with our spouse becomes the most important family, our primary family.

The Works and Wonders

Scripture Text:  Matthew 8:18-38

As followers of Jesus it can be hard to fully comprehend what it means to follow Jesus, and to come to terms with the works and wonder of Jesus. This is nothing new as since he walked on earth people have struggled. As a result we can simplify the call to follow Jesus while we also remove the supernatural power of Jesus.

To be a follower of Jesus when he walked the earth was not a matter of attending a few church services and toting a Bible around. The call to follow Jesus was a call to fundamentally change the way we live our lives. We are invited to exchange living from a perspective of society, for living the life that Jesus modeled and taught. We are called to be countercultural. Whether it was the first century, or today, this is not an easy task.

Part of being a follower of Jesus is to recognize the supernatural of Jesus. Jesus is able to do things that science and reason have tried to explain but cannot. Calming the sea with a mere command, is not "normal" climate behavior. Casting demons into pigs after a conversation about it, is not average day-to-day behavior. Yet, that is exactly the work and wonder Jesus was about.

A common question in the United States is why we do not see the miraculous today like we read about in the Bible? Some assume it is because God does not act like that anymore. Another would reason the miracles never really took place, they are only written about. Lots of answers are given that remove supernatural ability from Jesus. Perhaps we do not see it as often in our culture because we have determined Jesus not capable.

Living a Christ-centered marriage has never been an easy thing. The values by which we live when we are following Christ come into conflict with the world around us. Marriage is not immune to this. In fact we live in a time when holding to Christ-centered values in marriage is not only hard to do, it is hard to define. Still the call is clear, live a life, a marriage with Christ as the measure of our values not the culture around us.

When it comes to our relationship with the supernatural works and wonders of Jesus, marriage can often be a visible sign of the miraculous. The idea the two people could commit to living the rest of their lives together, through sickness and health, for richer, for poorer, till death do us part requires the supernatural work of God. Perhaps as we have tried to do it on our own, rendering Jesus impotent, marriage has fallen prey to the disposable nature of so many things in our culture.

Marriage gets viewed as disposable because it is thought to be only the work of humans. The works and wonders of Jesus are cut out of the equation. Couple this with the challenge of married life in a culture that struggles to have clear value of marriage, and the trap is set for poor quality marriage. To cultivate a healthy marriage we must first be willing to follow Jesus, even when it is not culturally valued. Second, we must keep space for the supernatural works and wonders of Jesus.

Jesus is Willing, Are You?

Scripture Texts: Matthew 8:1-17; Psalm 77

Can you imagine asking Jesus to do something, and adding the phrase if you are willing? Most of us do not have to imagine, at some point in our journey with Christ we have wondered or asked if God is willing to do what we would like. For the man in Matthew 8, he asks if Jesus is willing, and finds himself healed.

Never was the question whether Jesus was able, it was a question of willingness. From time to time we get those two things confused. We wonder if Jesus is willing to do something in our lives when we really are wondering if Jesus is able to do something in our lives. Too often we seek after Jesus hoping he will be able to accomplish what it is we want.

Jesus is able to do all things, exceedingly, abundantly more than we can imagine. There are things Jesus is not willing to do in our lives. Not because we are unloved by Jesus, rather it is because of the great love Jesus has for us that there is a limit in the willingness. What we are asking for might not be the best for us or our relationship with Jesus.

There is another possibility in the willingness question. Perhaps we ask willingness of Jesus when we are really wondering if we want something to really happen. It might be fitting for Jesus to declare he is willing and ask if we are willing. The greatest limit to what Jesus can do in our lives is not the ability or willingness of Jesus, it is our willingness.

Since before the day of our wedding, our desire has been to have God use our marriage for great things. In fact we asked God to use our marriage, if willing, to help others experience the blessing of marriage, and ultimately to experience love and grace in Jesus Christ by becoming a follower of Jesus. While we have asked it, the question has never been the willingness of God, it has been our willingness.

Are we willing to live our lives in such a way that God can fully use our marriage? There are lots of understandings about what marriage is in this day and age. This is not about gender, and same gender marriage, it is about the ideals people have of marriage and what a good marriage is. It has become commonplace to settle for something less than the fullness of God because we are not willing to live in such a way that God can fully use.

Many marriages settle for good enough, when God is willing, able and hoping that we will strive for fullness. That we will be willing to live following after Jesus with our whole hearts, that our marriages will be different than the ideals of society, that we will cultivate a marriage that will do whatever it takes, to be used by God, for the Kingdom of love and grace to be experienced here and now.

Foundations Matter

Scripture Text: Matthew 7

Recently our children along with some of their friends were building a human pyramid. All of the children were of different heights and builds so the way they arranged themselves in the pyramid mattered. Somewhere along the way a few of the smallest in the group wanted to be part of the base while the biggest of the group wanted to be on the top. You can only guess how this worked out.

The foundation of any structure determines how the rest is build and what can sit at the top. Jesus is clear how this relates to our lives. We must have a foundation built on bedrock otherwise everything else is suspect to being destroyed in the storms. This teaching comes at the close of the Sermon on the Mount, and particularly in a section where Jesus makes clear his role in the life of people.

To build a solid foundation we must invite God to be the center of our lives. The way we do this is by making the decision to be a follower of Jesus Christ. A life without God can look good, and appear to have everything in place. Yet, when the storms come and the torrents crash against the foundation of our life, it will be washed away. Any foundation that leaves God out of the mix will reach a crumbling point.

There are many ingredients that go into a healthy marriage. Love and romance, honor and respect, humility and submission, the list could go on and on. All of these are important and need attention, however all of these things without God as the foundation of your marriage and it will crumble when the storms come.

Before we were married we spend several months writing back and forth, handwritten letters, in which we would complain to each other that we could not find a person to date who met the standards we were using to measure potential spouses. Through this we each generated a list, sending to each other for review. Keep in mind we were not dating at this point, we were two friends who were sharing our hearts.

When we reviewed the separate lists it became clear we were looking for the same things. It did not take too long for us to realize that in each other we had found what we were looking for in a potential spouse. At the top of the list was they must be a follower of Jesus, and God must have the top spot in their life. We began our relationship and our marriage with this value at the very center of our lives together.

Over the years we have faced storms, financial challenges, death of a parent and grandparents, moving several times, and life situations we simply did not want to be in. Through it all we have been able to cling to the foundation of Christ in our lives and marriage. Each time we have held on, it has made it easier the next time.

Before you read this and think how easy that sounds, know that we have had to work hard at keeping Christ at the center of our lives and marriage. It is not something that happens just because it is on a list of priorities. We have needed to and will continue to invest the time and energy in keeping Christ as the foundation. This means keeping in the Scriptures, together and individually. It means time in prayer with each other and for each other. Time in worship and service keep us tuned into God's abundant grace. We have to be intentional about cultivating a Christ-centered life, so that we can cultivate a Christ-centered marriage. It takes investment, and the return is worth every bit of it.

Power of our Thoughts

Scripture Texts: Matthew 5: 17-37; Proverbs 15

Actions speak louder than words, and our thoughts drive them both. In fact our thoughts can be more dangerous, or life-giving then either actions or words. Jesus is really pushing us to understand this through this section of the Sermon on the Mount. Our thought life is powerful enough for our thinking to be equal to the actions and words, even to the point of murder.

The way we think about another person often becomes how we treat them. If we think of someone and pity them, we tend to treat them accordingly. When we think about someone in anger, we tend to treat that person in an angry way. If we are to think about another person filled with hope, we treat them with hope. On and on the list goes, yet the point easily eludes us. The way we think drives the way we act.

Many people have heard and given the advice to a young couple with the ink on the marriage certificate still drying, do not go to bed angry. In light of what Jesus reminds us about the connection between our thinking and our actions, this advise looms large. If we are angry with our spouse and we do not resolve it, the angry thoughts will grow as will our treatment of our spouse poorly. This is not about peace in the home before sleep, it is about not allowing negative thoughts to flourish.

Here is a little test/challenge. For the next ten days keep track of your thoughts regarding you spouse. When negative thoughts begin to creep in, push them away as quickly as possible. Then replace the negative with positive. As the positive thoughts about your spouse enter, find ways to hold on to them. Devote the next ten days to thinking only positive about your spouse.

Cultivating a healthy marriage is about keeping our thought life on track. Interestingly enough the way we think about our spouse will impact the emotions we experience about our spouse. The emotions will directly impact the way we treat our spouse. We pray that we can all be people who think about the amazing person we call our spouse.

A Blessed Marriage

Scripture Text: Matthew 5:1-16

In these verses we find the opening statements of Jesus' longest recorded sermon. Through these words we get a glimpse of what it means to live our lives according to the Kingdom of God as opposed to any other kingdom. This section, also called the beatitudes, share with us how to live the kind of life that God blesses.

Just like for the original audience, the teaching confronts the way our world today commonly thinks and acts through life. In fact in almost every instance living according the the Kingdom of God understanding is the opposite of living by other kingdoms. To be blessed we must realize we need God. To be blessed we must mourn with those who mourn. On and on the list goes turning upside down the most commonly taught ways to be blessed in life.

The life Jesus calls us to is filled with blessings, however it is not easy. We are told to expect persecution, strife, and mocking because we follow Jesus. All of this screams to us the way of Jesus is not the same as the dominate culture. Further we can see the danger of attempting to make the way of Jesus into something it is not, the dominate culture. In Christ we live a life not so that we can fit in, or get things the way we think they should be. We live our lives so that through us the world might see God.

As Jesus instructs how to live as people of the Kingdom of God, we should also apply the list to our marriage:

• Our marriage will be blessed when we realize how much we need God, for others shall see the Kingdom of God in us.
• Our marriage will be blessed when we mourn with each other, and others, and God will be our comfort.
• Our marriage will be blessed when we treat each other with humility, for we will inherit all that God desires for us.
• Our marriage will be blessed when we hunger and thirst for for justice for our spouse.
• Our marriage will be blessed when we show mercy to our spouse, for we will experience mercy.
• Our marriage will be blessed when we keep our heart pure for our spouse, for we will experience the fullness of God.
• Our marriage will be blessed when we seek to live in peace with our spouse, for we both will be called children of God.
• Our marriage will be blessed when we are persecuted because of how we live in our marriage, for God is with us.
• Our marriage is blessed when others mock and persecute us because of how we strive to live with Christ as the center of our marriage.

All of this is not for the glorification of our marriage, it is so that others will see God. We strive to live in such a way that we can be blessed by God to be a blessing to others. We live the life we do so that others might know the love and grace of Jesus Christ and decide to follow him either because of, or inspite of our lives.

Beating Temptation

Scripture Text: Matthew 4; Psalm 75

For as long as there have been people temptation has been part of the equation. We see this from Adam and Eve, to King David, to Jesus, and every person to walk the planet. It is not a question of whether or not we will face temptation, it is a matter of how we will respond in the face of temptation.

As we might guess Jesus gives a perfect model in Matthew 4. Each temptation was responded to with Scripture and evidence of a relationship with God. Satan does not hold back in the temptation offering Jesus everything that would be needed. Jesus knows all those things are only counterfeit versions of what his mission was.

Temptation offers to us a counterfeit version of what we think we need or what we are trying to accomplish. The danger is so high because it often comes in the form of a shortcut or making something that is a great challenge seem like it is easy. The first step in responding well to temptation is to have clarity about what you are called to. Second is clarity around the character traits you want to display as you achieve the goal. Lastly, responding well to temptation requires having connection with a solution that will endure.

Marriage is no stranger to temptation. In many ways it creates more opportunities to respond to temptation. There are the obvious temptations of entering into relationships with people other than your spouse in ways that are reserved for those who are our spouse. This can be of a physical or emotional nature.

We also find the less obvious temptation to take our relationship for granted. This shows up in leaving the little things of life undone such a chores around the house. It also shows up in no longer doing the small yet powerful romantic gestures of the courting or dating days. The great danger here is that it becomes easy to not even realize we have given into temptation.

Responding well to temptation in marriage is the same as in all arenas of life. First we must be clear of the call to live a healthy and great marriage, not to simply exist until we reach the till death do us part portion. Second we must have clarity that we want to make the journey filled with integrity, joy, compassion, passion and love. Third, we must remain connected with the God who loves us and teaches us how to live in such a way that we cultivate the best marriage possible.

It is a Simple Message

Scripture Text: Matthew 3

John the Baptist's message often gets only a passing treatment because he is leading the way for Jesus. Yet, the message being proclaimed is not to be missed, even if it is hard to come to terms with. Matthew tells us the simple message of John, "Repent of your sins and turn to God, for the Kingdom of Heaven is near."

Words like repent and sin are not real popular words in our day and age. This is nothing new, they were not all that popular in John's day either. For the most part people felt if they were generally good people, and claimed their heritage as people of God, everything would be just fine. All this talk of sin and repentance was too much.

Once Jesus is on the scene the message does not change a whole lot. Jesus continues to call people to step away from sinning and to turn to God. The main variation to the message was times when he would say the Kingdom of God is near, or say it was at hand. Whether it was the people of Jesus' day or people today we still struggle with the simple message. The struggle is so great that we make every attempt to clarify it on God's behalf. We make sure to nuance the message and make it more palatable reducing Jesus to a good moralistic teacher. In reality we need to come face to face with the simple message of God as seen in Christ.

The message of marriage is pretty simple as well. Do everything in your ability to remain centered in Christ, and keep fidelity with the one you are married to. Throughout the centuries we have nuanced this message as we continue to do so today. We are not saying there is never a situation where divorce is the best option, that was not even the message Jesus gave regarding marriage. What we are saying is while relationships are complicated the basic marriage is simple.

Another way to think about it has been shared with us by a close friend, "If you are married,there are two types of people in the world, those who you are married to and those who you are not. as long as you remember who is who things will go much better." Whenever one person in the marriage forgets this simple truth, everything gets much more complicated.

Still the message is very simple. When we do our best to keep our focus on the simple message and resist the temptation to make it more complicated than it is, we find we experience more of what it is like to live in the Kingdom of God, which is near. So, we must repent of our sin and turn to God, because the Kingdom is near, and we must remember to remain centered in Christ and in fidelity to our spouse.